I am not a run-of-the-mill person.

Whether this is good or bad is purely a matter of perspective; I try to make it good by behaving in a generally rational, considerate, and honest manner, but people can take it as they choose.

There have been times in my life when my friends and acquaintances have told me that, essentially, my life is a kind of spectator sport in that it is amusing (probably in the way watching spectacular disasters or circus shows can be) to observe in its varying degrees of oddity.

I was reflecting (pun intended) in the elevator this morning after catching sight of myself (clad in a long black dress accented with shades of pastel, a green knit shoulder sweater, and hippie jewelry with my absurdly long hair loose down my back) in the mirror that I can totally understand why some people think I'm just WEIRD. I certainly don't look normal, and that's just the beginning.

I am weird, and kind of unabashedly myself. I have no insecurities about who or what I am. The great thing about getting older is that you really don't stress much at all about what people think of you.

But this line of thought led me to the realization that I probably seem infinitely more weird to more people because I always find myself in circumstances that don't normally attract people like me. For instance, I'm the hippie chick butting heads with corporate businesspeople. I'm the girl in calculus class using her scientific calculator to type sonnets. I'm the person who has a deep-seated fidelity to home, but who wanders all over the world like a gypsy. I belong in academia - I find myself neck-deep in capitalism. I'd probably enjoy living on a commune in northern California or a biodynamic winery in Tuscany - I have an apartment in the second-biggest city in the world. I am a hopeless romantic - I never date. I love music - I'm not deeply involved in the music scene. The contradictions go on and on.

I can't say with any certainty why exactly this happens. It's something I need to ponder a bit more. But it does seem to be a pattern, which begs some consideration.

Maybe I like being the odd one out.

And maybe the time has come to blend in a bit more, with a likeminded crowd.